Compiled by Allen
the Students of NationsUniversity & beyond
"May you learn from both my successes and my failures."
It is a worthy adventure to bridge the past and discover
practical truths lived by those who blazed the trail of
life ahead of us.
"Seeds for Growing the Life You Really Want"
can become a fast track to a surer life foundation. We
will all make plenty of errors along the way, but perhaps
this will help the reader to travel further in less time
and with less stress than will the 'lone ranger' who refuses
to learn from others' successes and mistakes (or their
Where my personal actions fall short of my own words,
I will entrust the conflict to the reader's merciful judgment.
A life is grown. It does not just happen or appear over
Each of our lives is like a garden. They require thoughtful
preparation and tilling before the seeds are planted.
A garden must also be tended as the seeds sprout and while
they produce the intended fruit.
Poor native soil and poor initial preparation can be
compensated for; but that will be more difficult than
preparing the soil correctly the first time. In life's
words, it is easier to form a habit than to change one!
1. Seeds From a Life Coach
Wisdom of Age
- 12 Teen Assets
Hang around with people who give you energy, not those
who drain you of it.
Trust that you are not alone. You're not.
The natural progression of life grows one from a position
of 'dependence' (childhood) through a position of 'independence'
(John Wayne character) to one of mature 'interdependence'.
Interdependence is the most valuable of the three.
The 'world' is continually sending us signals. If we
ignore the signals they become issues; if we ignore
the issues they become problems; if we ignore the problems
they become crises. Thus, we create many of our own
crises. By continuously responding to the signals, one
can prevent a life filled with crises. You can have
an essentially crisis-free life. Establishing self-protective
boundaries is the first step.
Before you create a future, resolve the past and perfect
the present. It is ok to start where you are today.
Remember the past, plan for the future, but LIVE in
Honor your parents by learning from both their successes
and their mistakes. But don't over react.
You will accomplish more, with more ease if you take
the time to first strengthen your personal foundation:
Come to terms with past pain and
A life which is based fully on integrity.
Needs which have been identified and
Personal boundaries between you and
others that are ample and automatic
Biblical standards which bring out
An absence of 'tolerations'.
Choosing to come from a positive place.
A family which nurtures you.
A community which develops you.
A life fully oriented around your
(Christ based) values.
want to succeed, invest 10% of your time to make
the most of the other 90%
Life's choices come with both duties and responsibilities.
Learning how to choose well and take responsibility
for the choices we make is an essential skill that
few of us were taught.
Choices (i.e. decisions) are best made by focusing
more on what you don't know than on what you do
know. Work to reduce the chances that something
important has been overlooked. When your vision
is clear enough, so to, will be the path
Your problems are sometimes thrust upon you, but
they are yours.
Life becomes simple when you put your integrity
first, your needs second, and your wants third.
Set goals based on your values, not on wants or
shoulds. Clarify your values
and their source.
Is there a better source?
"A crisis does not make us men, but it shows
us what kind of men we are." Thomas Jefferson
Enormous discipline is required to control extraordinary
appetites. A willingness to seek and accept appropriate
external support in this matter will improve one's
quality of life.
to a garden, one's life is also like a ship.
If you prevent barnacles (otherwise called 'tolerations')
from growing, you will reduce the friction on your hull
and traverse life's ocean more smoothly. What 'barnacles'
are slowing you down? Pausing at a dry dock from time
to time to scrape them off is good preventive maintenance.
Remember to recalibrate your 'compass' as well. How
do you define 'true north'? What brand of compass do
you use? How does the Bible fit in here?
Who I was is less important than who I have become and
am becoming (reflect on "transformation").
Quality of life is largely determined by the balance
of ones' appetites and one's discipline, especially
in the areas of what we eat and drink, how we rest and
exercise, and what we think and say.
A family is for nurturing. A community is for creating.
The Christian church exists for a reason. It is both
a family and a community. Respect it. Grow in it.
You never build yourself up by tearing someone else
Your environment needs you to educate it.
more important than possessions.
Relationships are more important than rights.
Being kind is more important than being right.
Who you are is more important than what you do.
The gift you have to share with others is worth reorienting
your life around. What is your gift?
The easiest way to grow as a person is to surround
our selves with people smarter than we are.
One cannot perform at a higher level than the people
with whom he surrounds himself over time.
Just one person saying to me, "You've made my
day!" makes my day
and vice versa.
No matter how serious your life requires you to be,
everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
To ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Rapid change is here to stay. A 'reserve' of everything
helps manage it.
There is a lot of value to making Stephen
Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People YOUR habits.
1. Be Proactive. (Get ahead of the ball.)
2. Begin with the End in Mind. (Get focused and stay focused.)
3. Put First Things First. (Balance the 'important' with
4. Think Win/Win. (It is possible.)
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. (Listen
for more than you listen to. Listen. Listen.
6. Synergize. (Network both skills and people. 1 + 1 =
7. Sharpen the Saw. (Never stop learning.)
1. A solid nuclear family. Caring interaction
with one's parents and siblings, especially if they
function within a Christian family life model.
2. A caring spiritual (church) family. Positive peer
support and modeling comes out later in positive ways.
3. Parental support. Teens talk with their parents and
know that they are heard. They know their neighbors,
and know that their neighbors and community care about
4. Empowerment. They see themselves as valued by the
people and community around them. They see themselves
as able to have an effect.
5. Contribution. They spend an hour or more every week
contributing to their community in one way or another.
6. Boundaries and expectations. Both at school and at
home there are clear rules and consequences. The adults
around them model positive, responsible behavior and
convey that this is expected of the teens, also.
7. Constructive use of time. They spend three or more
hours a week in music or other arts lessons or similar
activities, and fewer than two nights a week "hanging
out" or doing nothing.
8. Commitment to learning. They are motivated to do
well in school and read for pleasure more than three
hours a week.
9. Positive values. They are concerned about social
issues such as equality, hunger, and poverty. They are
not involved with drugs or alcohol and are not prematurely
10. Social competencies. They know how to make plans
and choices, how to relate to others, and how to resolve
conflict without violence.
11. Positive identity. They have high self-esteem. (This
is not the same thing as arrogance, which is often a
cover-up for low self-esteem.)
12. Purpose. They report that they believe their lives
P.S. When properly presented, the teen's
church connection facilitates a spiritual underpinning
that instills the conviction that there is a purpose
to the teen's life. If one's purpose is not spiritually
driven, it might come from anywhere and that is a risk
not worth taking.
1. Don't answer the telephone, emails
or text during dinner.
2. Express love every day. It will always come back
3. Laugh more often.
4. Eat only when hungry.
5. If it is not delicious, don't eat it.
6. Surrender expectations.
7. Exchange security for serenity.
8. Shift from being 'happy' to being 'joyful'.
9. Search for your authentic self until you find
him or her.
10. If you don't love it, live without it.
11. You cannot relate to another's pain any deeper
than you have to your own.
12. Water the seeds, not the weeds.